If You Were a Tree You’d Have Roots; Instead You’re a Human with Feet (A Message on Moving On) (Soul. Musings. 01/31/17)
Many times, we settle for where we are and for what we have because we think it is safe. We are ruled by the idea of staying because we are afraid of what it will feel like and actually be like to move into a new environment with new people, new opportunities, and new responsibilities.
We are frightened by the thought of moving on simply because we cannot bear to leave behind the familiar. Sometimes what we know and have can be the best blessing, but at other times, it can be the very things that keep us back from fulfilling our dreams.
The key to happiness is in our own pocket unless, of course, we take it out and give it away. We do that when we compromise, play games, and seek to control instead of accepting reality and rolling with the punches, as my grandmother would say.
You don’t have to stay stuck. You don’t have to live an unhappy life. If you’re unhappy, start walking. Move. Make the necessary changes in your life. If you were a tree, you would have roots and be forced to stay in the same place you were planted. But you’re not a tree. You’re a human and you have feet and you can change your circumstances or the way you perceive your circumstances just as quickly as you change your attitude.
Moving on isn’t a cop-out. It isn’t about running away from responsibility. It isn’t about quitting or throwing in the towel or giving up. It is about dropping the weights of what no longer serves a purpose in your life. Sometimes, we don’t move because as heavy as they may be, our weights have become so familiar that they are a part of who we are and we think we would feel out of place without them, so we keep them.
If you’re unhappy, meaning unfulfilled, at your job, maybe it is time for a move. You won’t be happy until you’re doing what you were uniquely made to do. So if you’re no longer growing or being productive, constantly stressed and drained after each day, and are only clocking in because it pays the bills and keeps food on the table, then it may be time to move on.
If the people around you are bringing you down, you have an obligation to yourself and to them to move on. You are choosing a better path for your life. By leaving, you’re showing them that you’re not cutting them off or forgetting about them or dumping them; instead, you’ve learned and grown and when they are no longer a vessel conducive for such learning and growing, then maybe it’s time to say “thank, but no thanks” and “I see you later.” Recognizing what and who no longer serve a purpose in your life is vital to knowing when to stay and when to transition.
And so it is with love too. Love is so much more than dinner dates, long phone conversations, walks in the park, sweet messages, flower bouquets, chocolates and teddy bears, tight hugs, precious kisses, and you’re-the-one smiles. Real love relationships are supposed to mature you, contribute to your soul, and help propel you to be your best.
Moving on takes work but most importantly, it takes courage. Courage to change. Courage to fix what is broken. Courage to own our happiness. Courage to wake up and go wherever our goals inform us we need to go.
Sometimes, we are stuck not because we physically are but because we mentally are. We have it in our heads that roots are beneath us and that we go against ourselves if we try to move. It is only through learning, growing, laboring, and soldiering that we move on to better things. We must be willing to let go of the things that are no longer serving us so as to live the life we’ve always wanted. Nothing in the world can stop you from picking yourself up and moving on.