3 Totally Dangerous Habits to Dump Now (365 Days of Spirited Living – DAY 282)
“Some rules are nothing but old habits that people are afraid to change.”
— Therese Fowler
If you don’t like the way things are going for you, now may be a good time to seriously look at your daily habits, not just the physical ones, but the internal ones, the ones that flow from your heart and mind, and see if there are areas you can change. Wanting to change and not making the effort to do so, only brings more stress into your life. Change is always painful at first but then it produces better conditions.
Feeling sorry for yourself is a waste of energy and time. If you don’t like your present situation, then maybe it’s time for a change. The worst habit you can possibly develop is throwing pity parties for that which is completely in your control to change or make better.
Here are 3 totally dangerous habits you should dump now:
1. Talking about people behind their backs.
We’re all guilty of this. At one point or another, we say something to someone about someone else when the someone else isn’t around to defend or speak up for themselves. However harmless it may be, we have a sense when we’re crossing the line into dangerous territory and know deep down that we really shouldn’t be. Doing this does one of two things. It has the potential to ruin our relationship with the other person. It also gives the impression to the person we’re talking to that we can’t be trusted.
Most of the time, we don’t gossip with bad intentions; sometimes it’s in jest while at other times it’s just mindless ranting. But as unconscious as it may be, it is a bad habit that we seriously need to dump. If we don’t, it can get out of control and reinforce the negative behavior in our lives as well as induce bad karma. Be conscious about what you say about other people especially when the person is not around. Talk about others that way you would hope they’d talk about you.
2. Words are cheap.
But they don’t have to be. A lot of times, we don’t follow through on what we say we’re going to do because we don’t really pay attention to the weight our words carry. When you say you’re going to do something, people expect you to do it. There are no two ways about it. Just think how you feel when people don’t follow through on plans you have set together or they don’t help you when they say they will. The cause of much bitterness and disappointment within relationships is very simply a matter of one or both parties not coming through on their word.
Your word is important. It is like a promise whether you make it to be so or not. When you break a promise, it’s as if you’ve cried wolf because your word doesn’t mean anything. If you plan to meet someone for lunch, meet them. If you say you’re going to call someone, call them. If you’re going to help a friend out, help them. If you can’t do something and you absolutely know you can’t, don’t commit to it in the first place. Every little thing you say matters to the person you say it to. Most of all, it should matter to you. Keep the small promises and it’ll be easier for you to keep larger ones.
3. Giving all the advice but heeding none of it.
Isn’t it interesting that the people who have the most to say about how someone else should live their life rarely know how to live their own. It is one thing to tell someone how to do something based on your own experience. That’s being vulnerable, humble, and helpful, especially if you do it without a judgmental and critical tone. But it is totally something else when you are saying the right thing but doing so with an attitude or arrogance or saying the right thing and it is not evident that you are practicing it in your own life.
One of the best ways to give advice is to not use words at all. Most people don’t need someone to point their finger at them or shouting at them about how to live and not live. Internally, most of us know what we should be doing. The best way to give advice is to be an example. Live your life purposefully and passionately, and maybe others will follow of their own choice. What works for you may not work for someone else. Stop trying to ram your values and standards down everyone else’s throat. Heed your own good advice and when others see it work for you, they may be more open to trying it.
“The soul, like the body, accepts by practice whatever habit one wishes it to contact.”