Daniella Whyte

7 Ways You’re Holding Yourself Back (365 Days of Spirited Living – DAY 243)

7 Ways You’re Holding Yourself Back

“Stop holding yourself back. If you aren’t happy, make a change.”
— Unknown

At one point or another in our lives, we all hit bumps in the road. These bumps cause our progress to stop temporarily, dry up our creativity, turn a positive attitude soar, and halt our motivation to be productive. As it turns out, it is at these times in our lives that we discover that the only thing keeping us stuck is not the bumps in the road, but ourselves. We don’t realize that we are our own roadblock, keeping ourselves from getting to where we want to go.

Here are 8 ways you may be holding yourself back:

1. You don’t take risks or consider rewards.
Too often when we attempt to make a decision, we tend to only think about what could go wrong instead of what could go right. There are opportunities in front of us that we could take, but they expire before we take them because we’ve spent too much time thinking about what if it’s not the right one or what if it doesn’t work. If we let go of the innumerable what-ifs we concoct in our minds, we may very well encounter an incredible life.

2. You stay only in your social circle.
It is good to have friends who think just like you and to whom you get along with precisely because you are just like each other. But one of the best things you can do is branch out of your comfortable circle of associates and acquaintances and get to know other people who don’t share your spiritual, political, or cultural views. By doing so, you stretch your thinking and expand your opportunities for growth.

3. You perpetuate negative assumptions.
You don’t believe you are good enough for a promotion, so you don’t bother ask. You think you’re a good writer, but you don’t even try to submit your work to a magazine or journal to get published. And so you never get what you always dreamed of having. Until we challenge the negative assumptions that we make about ourselves, we’ll always be stuck — wishing for something and never getting it because we assume that it’s not for us.

4. You look for a job instead of a career.
We all have to work. But too many people hold themselves back from living a fulfilling life because they get stuck in a dead-end job that they hate to go to and can’t wait to leave. A job gives you something to do; a career gives you something to live for. You’re more likely to get bored with a job after a while, but you’re more likely to grow and succeed if you get into a career that you love.

5. You have a degree in finger pointing.
It’s so much easier to blame someone else for our problems. We don’t make enough money. Our parents are overbearing. Our boss is too difficult. We have too many bills. But none of that blaming actually solves one problem. If we step back from our little world, we’ll likely find that so many other people have the same problems but are doing just fine. Most of what we face is exaggerated by how we choose or don’t choose to deal with it.

6. You embrace self-acceptance to the neglect of growth.
Self-acceptance is such a big topic now. We’re told to embrace who we are and accept our flaws and be confident sans make-up. Sure we should accept who we are for there is little we can do to change our appearance. But some of us do this to the neglect of growing up and deeper. There are some things we need to change. And we can only change those things that are detrimental to our lives if we are willing to not accept them.

7. You focus on living larger than life instead of living life.
You’ve got designer shoes and handbags, the latest car, the finest condo, and enough diamonds to make Beyonce do a double take. But what is it costing you to keep up that lifestyle? Consider what’s in your savings account, whether you are current on your rent or mortgage, or whether you have paid your credit card bills. Before you flash all your pretty jewels to the world and give an appearance of living larger than life, you need to evaluate whether your outward looks correlate to your inner reality.

In the end, no one can really hold you back but yourself. And you are just as likely to be the best person to determine how quickly you make progress.

“You can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, that is something you are free to do and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid.”
— Franz Kafka

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