3 Other Warning Signs About the Company You Keep (365 Days of Spirited Living – DAY 235)
“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.”
— Will Smith
Negative thoughts hold the power to ruin us, but equally, do negative people. Sometimes it isn’t our thoughts that kill us, but the negative people we allow to get to us. When we should extract people from our lives, we don’t because we don’t want to hurt their feelings or break up long-standing relationships no matter how draining they are. But if we never make the trek across that bridge, we may never get to where we attempted to go in the first place, and that is how regret develops.
Here are three signs the people around you are bad apples and you’re better off showing them the nearest exit:
1. They are always complaining, grumbling, or whining.
One of the surest ways to a pitiful life is to complain and whine about every little thing. The next worse thing is being around people who do exactly that. People who are in the club of complaints seem to turn every situation into a problem. Even things that are beyond their control such as the weather or the morning traffic. And certainly, things they cannot change such as what dress another woman is wearing or where their best friend goes for vacation this summer. To chronic complainers, everything is a problem and there is no need for you to waste your time trying to convince them otherwise.
If you find yourself around people that no matter how good things are they only see what is bad or what could be done differently, you need to eject yourself from their company. Don’t waste time trying to tell them to cheer up or giving them solutions to their perceived problem. Just get away from them so that your outlook on life won’t be tainted by their view. If more people spent less time bitching about life and being grateful for life, we’d possibly have more happiness and peace in the world.
2. They are self-focused.
Most people do this unconsciously. We tend to focus on ourselves — what we want, where we work, what we do, where we’re going, how we’re going to do this or do that, what’s in it for us. You can tell a lot about a person by listening to their daily conversation. How often do they talk about themselves and their world as opposed to how we all fit together in the grand scheme of society? A self-focused person will eventually create a one-sided relationship. And a one-sided relationship will fail pretty quickly.
If you’re around a person who thinks he or she is the center of the universe, that is a sure sign that your dreams, goals, and ideas will not receive a fair shake by that person. For some people, it is nearly impossible for them to see anybody else other than themselves. The lens in their glasses is very foggy and will make for a time of ruined emotions and desperately crushed feelings.
3. They make you feel inferior or superior to them or other people.
Just imagine being in high school and one girl is pitting another girl against another girl in the class. Or being a walk-on to the school football team, and one boy declares himself the leader of the team even though you’ve just been selected to be the team’s quarterback. The truth is, much of this behavior is personal bias and human assumption. No one is better than another. No one’s talent, ability, height, weight, faith, race, or gender is less than anyone else. Only fools make judgments about people, use public platforms as opportunities to spew hate, and urge others to join in the chorus of bigotry and prejudice that too often resides in our world.
All hateful attitudes and prejudiced judgments are wrong. It is wrong because it is not based on fact, thus stemming from personal opinion which everyone is entitled to. If you judge others by their external appearance, you will miss everything about their humanity and individuality. No one is living exactly as you are or doing exactly what you do. All people are worthy of love and should be valued. If we can just get past the fact that we are different, we’ll find that we have so much more in common with each other than we think. Avoid people who try to make you judge or hate people.
“A negative attitude drains, a positive attitude energizes.”
— Lindsey Rietzsch