When Not To Be Nice (365 Days of Spirited Living – DAY 65)
“Sometimes being too nice is dangerous; you have to show your mean side once in a while to avoid getting hurt.”
— Ziad K. Abdelnour
The statement, ‘treat others the way you want to be treated’ is a good idea that has been taught to us since we were young. Being nice to others is something that makes life go better all the way around for yourself and for others. There is always an opportunity to show kindness to someone else. Kindness is a universal language that everyone understands. However, there are some times in life when it is not okay to be nice. Being nice at these times is not beneficial to yourself or to the other person. Here are some ways in which it is okay to be un-nice:
1. Sometimes conflict is necessary and demands an un-nice attitude and demeanor. If a conflict arises, shying away from dealing with it is the easy way out. Many of us do not have the fighting persona. We want the people around us to be happy, so we give in. However, when conflict arises, you must be willing to put your foot down, draw the lines of demarcation, let the skirmishes fly, and state what you believe to be right. In the end, some may be mad and leave, but those who have a healthy attitude toward conflict will stay.
2. Learn self-defense and use it. Allowing people to attack you, whether it is emotional, mental, or physical, is not nice in any way. You are setting yourself up to be damaged in more ways than one. Speak up. Say someone is attacking you, someone is hurting your feelings, someone is stealing from you, or anything else. It is not always nice to admit when people are doing wrong to you, but it is good for your own well-being to use your inner strength and power to stand up and be heard.
3. Tell the truth, and sometimes, the truth does not always sound nice. The truth is one of the most valuable things in the world. To be known as an honest, truth-telling person is also one of the most honorable characteristics you can possess. Sometimes, telling the truth means hurting people’s feelings or rubbing someone the wrong way. Whatever is the outcome, the truth will always bring freedom and a sense of security and stability to the situation and to your life. People who don’t like the truth will no stay long; people who do will be your biggest supporters.
“Being too nice gets you used…Being too mean pushes people away…You should be nice BUT you should also put your foot down if you have to.”