Correct False Pattern Connections (365 Days of Spirited Living – DAY 52)
“Invisible threads are the strongest ties.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche
What happens sometime when you’ve had a bad experience or come through a bad relationship? You tend to connect all present or future experiences and relationships to that bad one in the past. We make these connections subconsciously. Our brain triggers the emotion of fear which keeps us on pins and needles when we don’t have to be.
Sometimes, the emotional attachment is healthy because it protects us from getting into bad situations. However, the emotional attachment can also be very unhealthy in that it causes us to tag every experience and every relationship as negative, when, in tact, it is not. This can turn into a life pattern that is both negative and false. Making connections that are false can lead you away from your ultimate path of purpose.
This is particularly true when it comes to personal mistakes and even moral failings. Here are some examples: You fail a college algebra exam and know you’ll have to take it over in order to pass the class, so now you feel nervous and anxious when it comes to taking any kind of test. Let’s say your last two relationships ended in a break-up, so now you feel that all present and future relationships will end in the same way.
This kind of false pattern connection making can even be seen in small, seemingly inconsequential matters of life. Here’s another example: Let’s say you attempted to make spaghetti for dinner on Tuesday night and it was a disaster. So now, you never make spaghetti because you feel unable to do it right. That one bad experience has now defined all of your present and future spaghetti making experiences.
False life pattern connections can place obstacles in your path both mentally, physically, and emotionally. You know by common sense that all experiences are not the same and therefore require careful analyzation and different responses. But when we allow our emotions to kick in, we resort to the same responses and thought processes that we’ve used all along. This association keeps us back from treating new situations and experiences like they are instead of what we perceive them to be based on past false patterns.
Failure is a fact of life for all of us. However, failure is not always happening right now. We don’t make mistakes every minute of our lives. Every relationship is not the same as the last one. When we do make mistakes, it is all the more important to learn from it, clean up as best we can, and move on.
Look at your life and determine how past experiences and feelings are being connected to present and future experiences and feelings. How is your association keeping you back from realizing your full potential and meeting people who add value to your life. Take time to ask yourself if the pattern connections you’re making are accurate. If they are right, beware; if they’re not, realize that the situation has changed and open yourself up to make progress.
“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects.”
— Herman Melville