How Do I Get In Control of My Life?
DEAR DANNI: I often feel as though I am not in control of my life. My family and friends are always telling me what I should be doing or what I should not be doing. I know what I love to do, but end up spending too much time doing what they want me to do. How do I get in control of my life?
-Not In Control in Arizona
DEAR NOT IN CONTROL IN ARIZONA: That is a good question. Indecisiveness is an issue that many people deal with in life. Unfortunately, if you don’t make decisions – solid decisions – about yourself and your life, there will always be someone or several people around you who will be happy to make them for you. When you allow other people to make decisions for you, you indirectly give them control of your life. In no situation is that healthy.
You don’t want to get stuck wandering through life having only done the stuff that other people tell you to do. If you continue on this route, you will quickly lose sight of who you are as a person, your gifts, your talents, and your purpose for being in the world.
So, first make a CHOICE to have an opinion and stick with it. When it comes to making important decisions such as what job you should take, should you move to China or stay in Arizona, should you marry, who should you marry, and so forth, you must clearly and decisively be front and center in what you choose to do.
Second, REMOVE the following phrases from your vocabulary:
– I’m fine with whatever
– What do you think?
– Whatever you say is fine with me
– I don’t care
– I’m open
Tell the people closest to you that your opinion is important. When you are asked a question or given options, choose to make a firm decision. Believe in your ability to make good decisions, and you may be surprised how often you will be right.
Now, does that mean you should never take the advice of others? Absolutely not. Knowing what others think and sometimes implementing it into your plans can be helpful. But ultimately, you must hold yourself accountable for your own life.
Third, ACT on your decision. When you make a decision stick to it. Even if your decision turns out to be wrong, at least you made a decision. At least you did something instead of letting someone else control your actions. A bad decision is better than no decision, but a good decision is always best.
Your life is nobody else’s life but yours. You have the right and the responsibility to choose what you will do, where you will go, and how you will live your life — happily and freely.